Bill and Ted: A Lifetime of Being Excellent and Partying On

Bill and Ted: A Lifetime of Being Excellent and Partying On

Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure was released on February 17, 1989. Written by Ed Solomon and Chris Matheson, directed by Stephen Herek, and starring Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves, this was a silly movie aimed squarely at white, suburban, male teenagers that the vast majority of the movie-going public has probably long since forgotten, and almost certainly dismissed as such. But for me, admittedly, the absolute quintessential target audience for this film, it means so much more. In fact, this stupid little movie may have had the most significant impact on my life of any piece of pop culture.

I saw Bill and Ted on opening night at the Showcase Cinema in Milford, Ohio. A movie house known for its incredibly outsized parking lot, where most of my small town, including me, learned how to drive. That oversized parking lot was part of a chain of circumstances that would have had a mall built in Milford. Instead, that mall, Eastgate Mall, was built about six miles down the expressway, anchored by Showcase Cinemas Eastgate in its own large parking lot. Showcase Cinema Milford is now a church, Showcase Cinemas Eastgate was torn down, and Eastgate Mall is dying a slow death, like many malls. I state this piece of 80s-era real-life history because it’s important to the world in which Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure was made. A world where malls were cultural gathering spaces, and movies were a critical part of youth culture.

The day is memorable for me, not because I saw what would become one of my favorite and most-watched movies ever, but because I saw it on my first real date, a date that should never have happened. You see, earlier in the day, in 7th period gym class, just moments before the bell rang, releasing me to head home to prep for the movie, I experienced a terrible sprained ankle as a result of a failed professional wrestling style drop kick delivered to me by “Rowdy” Randy Perry, a kid I barely knew. For some reason, Randy tried to drop-kick me, falling mostly on my ankle, which caused the sprain. It hurt. A lot. But I was determined not to miss this movie! I refused to tell my parents, instead I snuck out with a pair of my dad’s crutches and hopped in my friend’s car to see the movie with a young lady we’ll call Cheryl. Hey, I was 15. I had priorities. I’d tell my folks the next morning when my ankle was the size of a softball, and as purple as Prince’s logo. I barely remember Cheryl. Or Randy. Or high school. But I remember that movie.

Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure tells the exciting tale of best friends, Bill S. Preston Esq. and Ted “Theodore” Logan, students at San Dimas High School in San Dimas, California, who are destined for greatness but held back by ignorance. Phoenix, Arizona, stood in for San Dimas with its mall, schools, homes, water parks, and, critically, its Circle K providing the locales for these adventures. Bill and Ted are a classic comedy duo, a reflection of Cheech and Chong and the Blues Brothers, and an inspiration for Wayne and Garth and Jay and Silent Bob. They are presented as dumb teen boys, obsessed with music and girls and on the verge of failing history class-a cataclysmic event that would derail their destiny and, unfortunately, unmake the future of humanity and the universe. Their style, tone, and language are classic 80’s California valley dufuses. Most high schoolers would likely consider them “stoner” types, though there is no indication of drug use. In fact, beyond the stereotype of “dumb rock guys,” Bill and Ted are portrayed as incredibly good-hearted and good-natured individuals. And while we are led to believe they are stupid, that’s not quite the case either. Sure, they are set to fail History class, but less because they were dumb and more because they are so focused on having a good time and on launching their band, Wyld Stallyns. In fact, as our adventure unfolds-Bill and Ted present as pretty smart. They know who philosopher Socrates is. They are able to have conversations and observations that sound absolutely absurd but are delivered with a cadence of uniqueness, individuality, and intelligence. Bill, in particular, presents as well-spoken. Ted comes across less so, but is still able to pull out the occasional gem of intelligent observation and rote memory. Take his understanding of the first president, George Washington, for example. He is able to recall that Mr. Washington “had wooden teeth, chased Moby Dick.” Close enough.

We quickly learn that our heroes do have an important destiny, so important that a representative from the future is sent to the past to set our heroes on the right path. Rufus, played by the late great George Carlin, knows more than he lets on initially, but is determined to put history back on track by ensuring Bill and Ted do not fail their upcoming history presentation, which would cause them to fail the class and ultimately separate the duo as Ted’s father promises to send his neer do well son to a military academy in Alaska if he fails. Rufus provides the duo with a time machine built into a telephone booth. Who knew a telephone booth would become a relic of a bygone era, a virtually unnecessary item in the modern era that today’s teens would struggle to even identify. But back then we all knew what pay phones and phone booths were. It was a perfect choice for a vehicle. The conceit was that dates in history were tied to phone numbers which would enable our intrepid travelers to journey across time visiting any time period they wished. They even had a time directory listing historical events they may wish to visit. Experiencing history and interacting with historical figures would allow Bill and Ted to learn all they need to complete their assignment.

Their first stop, the Wild West, introduces them to Billy the Kid and sparks an idea-collect historical figures from across time, return them to their present, and have them share their impressions of modern day San Dimas.

Soundtracked by a perfectly excellent 80’s rock and roll track list, our heroes zip around the time circuits collecting “personages of historical significance” such as Dave Beeth-Oven (Ludwig Beethoven) Maxine of Arc (Joan of Arc) Herman the Kid (the aforementioned Billy the Kid) Bob “Genghis” Khan (Genghis Khan) Socrates Johnson (Socrates) Dennis Frood (Sigmund Freud) and…Abraham Lincoln. They run into some trouble along the way including an incident in medieval England where they meet their future wives and are nearly executed by their father. They even meet…their past selves in a hilarious encounter outside the Circle K (strange things are indeed afoot) where Ted reminds himself to wind his watch, another technology modern audiences may scratch their head at, and an important plot point that almost makes our heroes miss their presentation.

And what a presentation it is. After taking the historical figures to the mall to learn about modern history chaos ensues when the bored crew get arrested after causing havoc in the mall whilst Bill and Ted recover Napoleon from a nearby water park. The presentation is modeled after an 80’s rock concert where Bill and Ted demonstrate their knowledge while the historical figures discuss what they’ve learned spending time in modern America.

What Bill and Ted taught me is immeasurable. Love of learning, the importance of education and understanding both historical context and our place in it, and the power of friendship. Seriously.

I was Bill and Ted, well mostly Ted. I didn’t care about school. I was on the verge of failing. All I cared about was music and movies and girls. This movie showed me the importance of studying. Of not just learning dates, facts, and figures but understanding the context in which those things exist. Bill and Ted used the same text book I was using! I cracked that open and actually read it. I became interested in history. For real. I learned to love learning.

I spoke like them, establishing my own shorthand with my friends while quoting the movie but also quoting history. It…it was cool to be smart.

I became closer with my friends. I realized the power and importance of friendship! What it means to have another person’s back and for them to have yours.

And I learned to value and respect the future. If these two bozos from San Dimas could change the world anyone could! Even me. Bill and Ted gave me a voice.

Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure isn’t perfect. It’s an 80’s movie now forever trapped in its time by antiquated technology, fashion, and music. There’s even a once common homosexual slur used by the duo after a hug mid movie. I actually discussed this with Ed Solomon a few years ago on Twitter. He recognized and acknowledged the slur was of its time and that he and Matheson apologize for it and regret its inclusion. Years after its release, decades into my adulthood this movie was still teaching me valuable things.

Most importantly Bill and Ted taught me two important edicts. Mottos that I live by to this day and every day. Be excellent to each other. And. Party on dudes!